I’m loud. A little bit of a loner. I don’t always mean it when I say; “Yeah girl, I’mma call you back” (i’m working on that though). I love to laugh. I mean it’s ridiculous– I laugh those “I can’t breathe” laughs at the corniest things– like cat videos. I’m super sensitive. I can’t watch the news without fighting back the urge to break down and cry. My heart is pretty big. Ask me and I’ll give you the shirt off of my back. I love being around people but I also like to crawl back into my shell. I’m way too hard on myself and I still like eating Flamming Hot Cheetos and Taco Bell.
There’s no way around it, I am as complex as complex can be. We all are. But it seems to me that there are a lot of us running away from the very things that make us who we are. All because there’s this underlying fear that we are too much and not enough at all. I don’t know about you but that feeling of not quite being enough is what has led me to shrink. To chase perfect until I’m worn the hell out. To dim my light and play small in my life.
But lately, I’ve been saying, “EFF all that!”. At the top of the year, I made a conscious decision to embrace it all. The pieces of me that are glittery gold and the parts that are a hot
ass mess in progress. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m still working hard every day to be the best version of myself. But I am no longer fading to the background because I’m afraid that I won’t be accepted. I accept me.
How? How do I accept myself? Now I don’t have it all figured it out but what I am discovering is when I do things that make me utterly happy, I fall more in love with me. When I allow myself the space to be vulnerable and not hide behind my feelings, I begin to accept me and my truth. I am kinder and gentler with me. No more beating myself up if I don’t reach my close to impossible to reach high standards. I allow myself to pause if I need a break. Unplug if I’m overwhelmed with connection. Seek joy without guilt.
So I am choosing to do the things that make me happy. I’m getting whipped cream on my Mocha Lattes. That obscure Australian band that I love? Yep, I’m going to see them in concert. I’m going to cry if something touches my little sensitive heart. I’m going to say no if I’m tired and don’t feel like hanging out and try not to feel guilty about it. I’m going makeup-free somedays even when my grown
ass adult acne is on fleek. I’m going to twerk a little something when I go out for drinks with my girls. And choose to love again after heartbreak. It ain’t easy but I am choosing to accept me– flaws and all. No more apologizing for being who I am. I am learning to love me.
With February being the month of love and all– I encourage you (and I ) to work on the one relationship that you will be in for the rest of your life. The one with yourself. Do you stan for yourself as much as you do your Instagram fave? When was the last time you looked in the mirror without picking out the things you hate? Do you extend yourself some grace when you’ve dropped the ball? If you’ve answered no to any of those questions here are a few things you can start doing NOW to get in the habit of loving up on yourself.
“Remember, you’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”- Louise Hay.
This post was written by me– Jessica Lauren, the blogger behind #NRJ + the host of The Sunday Jumpstart Podcast. I live in Chicago and I am super passionate about encouraging women to become Dreamers + Doers. The best way to keep up with me + the day to day behind the scenes of NRJ is to follow me on Instagram– @NoRealJewelry . Have any questions, want to say hi or interested in brand sponsorship? Shoot me an email over at Hello@NoRealJewelry.Com
Have you listened to The Sunday Jumpstart Podcast Yet?! Check out the latest episodes now. Available on iTunes, Soundcloud, Google Play Music + Stitcher.
Dreaming big is one thing. Doing the actual work is another.
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